Happy New You!!!

Are you ready for a new beginning?  A new year?  A new you, perhaps? I wonder what this year will bring.  We are like the empty bottles in that top photo...waiting to be filled up.  How will you fill your bottle?  Be mindful as you think about that.

And like that simple glass of water...be clear in your thoughts.  Clarity is wonderful.

Anyway...

What a year 2011 was. New beginnings, sad endings, but overall many important lessons to have learned. Believe was my word...and as I said before...it was so powerful.  I do believe now.  I believe in miracles, I believe in myself, I believe that if you want something bad enough you will get it.  But I had to really learn that lesson...I had to own it.  And I owned that word.  And it was good for me.

*sigh*

So now in a few hours 2012 will bestow itself on us...and I will close 2011 with a happy heart.  And no regrets.

And so my word in 2012 is SOAR.  I am ready.  I have been standing on the edge of the cliff...I am ready to jump off and see what becomes of me.  I really have nothing to fear. Is there a such thing as failure?  I don't think so. So like this paper white flower ready to bloom, I too await the emergence of what will become this year.

I wish you all a beautiful new beginning and year filled with miracles, magic and blessings.

xoxo

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Mexican Wedding cookies...

OK...I re-named these to Mexican Peso cookies.  For what ever reason...they flattened out when I baked them (instead of staying in a ball form).  And you know what..I like these waaaaaay better.  They are super light and crisp.  And perfect with a nice strong cup of coffee.  Yep...that is all good.

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So my dear friend died on my birthday...WTF?  Ugh...that totally sucked.  But the good thing (if there is one) is that he is no longer suffering.  Cancer is an effing bitch.  It takes too many good people from us.

*sigh*

But I don't want to sit here and boo hoo. I want to celebrate his life...and mine for that matter!  Hell yeah...let's celebrate, tis the season!

Not sure how much blogging I will be getting in over the next few days.  As it's busier than a bee's behind in my house (is a bee's behind busy?  Hmmmm...just like the way that sounded).

Anyway...what ever you are celebrating this season...I wish you much love, light, peace and happiness!!!

Cheers!!!

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so cute you wanna barf...

I mean really...can this guy be any cuter?  I don't think so!

Ohhhh...momiji dolls...I love them.  And they make perfect stocking stuffers!

And then there is the no chip manicure I got last week...so far so good...I don't see any chips here!

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Falalalalalalalafuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck...are you kickin' it in high gear now?  Tick tock that holiday clock is ticking.  It's crazy how quickly this year is coming to a close.  YIKES!

Ohhhhh I have chosen my word for 2012.  I am excited about it too.  It's a good one for me.  This past year my word was believe.  Gosh...it was beautiful.  A great word for me.  I was humbled by this word and made to believe in myself.  I will be sad to let this word go...but I will hold on to it too (for it's always good to believe!)

Do you choose words?  Do you have resolutions?  Just curious.  I don't do resolutions...I can't seem to keep them (then I feel shitty when I break them).  Life is too short to let yourself down!  So no resolutions for me!

Anyway...I am off to bake more cookies.  Seriously.  I think I may have a problem...LOL.  Tonight it's Mexican Wedding cookies!  Ay! Caramba!

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a little bit of white stuff

We got some snow yesterday...woo hoo!  Now it really feels like Christmas to me.  I love the first snowfall. It's just magical.  My baby boy Samson (seen in the last photo) thought the snow was kinda weird.  LOL...he has not really seen snow before...such a Cali dog he was.  But after awhile he warmed up to the idea (can one warm up to snow? hmmmmm).

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Anyway today I have a heavy heart.  A dear dear friend of mine is dying.  Stage 4 brain cancer..he is 42. He found out in August.  WTF???  They brought him home now...with hospice and morphine.  He has days...  He just got married in October.  Fuck.  He's a really good guy too...I mean really really good.  A huge heart.      I can only shake my head in disbelief.  And I pray when he goes...it's peaceful.  And I hope he becomes one of my angels...cuz he'd be a good one to have watching over me.

Another reminder folks...life is so short.  And fleeting.

Go do something frivolous today!!!

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I have no idea...

  

Ta! Da! How friggin cute is that?

What has gotten into me?  I have been making sugar scrubs, ornaments and now cookies?  My goodness...could it be the Christmas spirit?  Bah Humbug! Can't be...

*grins*

What ever it is...it's kinda fun, and I really enjoy being a bit crafty (that's just  a bit odd for me, as I am not usually the crafty type!).  Ah well, I am gonna keep rollin' with this until I burn myself out.

***

OK photog friends...I have a must read blog.  It's called In Bed With Sue.  Darn good stuff there...tips, tricks, refreshers...you name it. Yep...and I really like her name too.  She's got balls and she is not afraid to use them...LOL.  But seriously...I needed to read her blog.  This article was especially eye opening.  It's about how much you charge clients...and this woman ain't cheap!!  It got me thinking about how much I am worth.  So get this, I shot an event in October and a man asked me if I would shoot his Christmas party.  I said sure (and was so excited to get a potential gig).  But then he asked me how much I would charge.  I gave him my price and he said..."wow that's really expensive!  Can you do like, half?"  I said no.  He looked at me like I was nuts.  Then I said to him (and I am not lying here...I really said this...) "You know that's actually really cheap...I am a fucking great photographer."  He stood there for a minute and said..."I bet you are...now I wish I could afford you!" Seriously...that happened to me! AND...it actually felt good to say I am a fucking great photographer.  And you know why it felt so good?  Because it was in that moment that I actually BELIEVED in myself.  Holy shit...I need to let that sink in.

Now, I am not trying to be all cocky...and my work does not appeal to everyone.  But there are people out "there" who do appreciate my work and are willing to pay for it (the tricky part is finding them!!!!).

I do think we all need this reminder.  How many times do you feel that your "work" or creative endeavors are not worth much?  I know I have struggled with this for a long long time.  I never thought I could earn a living doing what I love.  I never thought I was worth a "price." I didn't believe in my talents. But I love what I do and I always give 110%.  And that is worth something. Like I said yesterday, it's one foot in front of the other.  And it's time that make this shit happen.

Who's with me?

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OMG!  Have you seen this video?  If this does not make you smile...you may need to go back to bed!

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arugula and dogs make it better...

Seriously...this salad is amazing.  Just sayin!  I have made it twice this week...I can't get enough.  And it seems so perfect for this time of year.  And really, when I eat green stuff like this...I feel better.  Funny how green foods do that to you.  But I think there is something to that...feeling depressed, sad or down?  Eat a salad (hmmmmm...I donno something seems wrong with that...)! How about eat a salad and then a shitload of chocolate!  OK...that sounds about right! *smiles*

This here is my big baby, Samson.  Damn...I love this dog.  He is so sweet...he gets me.  Pets make the best therapists!  They don't charge you $$$, they listen without judgement, and they love you unconditionally.  It really does not get better than that.

***

Anyhoo...I am over my pity party and moving forward.  It's one day at a time. One foot in front of the other.  I do love that saying by Lao Tzu..."a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."  So here I am with my faithful friend...baring my feet in the freezing cold...taking that step forward.

Hope you have a great weekend...do tell me that most of your holiday shopping is done...oh boy it's gonna be rough out there!  LOL

Have faith... :)

photo credit here

xoxo

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life lessons...

I am tired today...(I did take a nap after I took this photo).

Today was kinda shitty.  It's pouring rain.  And I am having a grand ole' pitty party for myself.

Don't join me at the party..it's really not that fun.  Really, it's not.

But it's OK.  I am OK.  Just kinda needed to get through some shit.  Maybe that's all part of growth.

But some days are weary and hard. That's just life.  Some days are good and some days suck.  And today sorta sucked.  But not entirely.  Maybe I needed this day to remind me how important my dream is.  I don't want to give up. Hell no!  I don't want to settle.  I want what I want and it's hard waiting for things to happen! I really fucking hate waiting.  I need instant gratification (thanks McDonald's!).

I am doing everything I can in my power to make things happen.

And  there is really nothing more I can do.

So I will sit tight and wait. I have to just let go and let God or the Universe or who ever is "up there" or "out there" work their miracles.

*sigh*

Another lesson to be learned...

So what's a girl to do when she is in this position?

Go to Pinterest of course (hey it's a lot less calories than chocolate)!  And it makes me happy.

Thanks for listening...

I do feel better now!

xoxo


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I did it!

Ok...totally psyched about this project (gosh, I really do love pinterest....I get the best ideas there!).  So I made these scrubs yesterday...so easy.  I mixed brown sugar, white sugar and raw sugar together, added olive oil (not the extra virgin...thought it might smell to pungent) and vitamin E oil (bought at Trader Joe's).  I bought 3 different essential oils (lily of the valley, tangerine and lime) and mixed it with the sugar and oil.  I did a plain lily of the valley, tangerine & lime mixture, and I mixed some vanilla extract with the tangerine to make a vanilla orange.  OMG...they smell so good.  I am lucky to have a Crate and Barrel outlet near me so I picked up these jars and plastic tasting spoons for dirt cheap.  And that's that...a easy but wonderful gift.  I will for sure keep this on hand for other gifts besides Christmas.  Oh...I did make a lily of the valley scrub for myself...it really smells amazing and my hands are soooo soft.

***

Alrighty, enough of that Martha bullshit...let's talk!

Do you subscribe to The Daily Love?  Oh...you should if you don't.  Anyway yesterday's topic was very timely and it really got me thinking...(read it HERE).  It's all about the story we create for ourselves.  We are the author of our book called life...and the question we must ask is: " Do we like our story? And if we don't like the story...we CAN change it."

The key is, we can change it.

Now I like my story...but I have some "blocks" that I have to get over.  And I have to figure out how to rewrite that part of my story.  But it's really friggen hard.  And I don't know why!!!  That is the most frustrating part.  It's like I set myself up for failure over and over...then get pissed off at myself when I can't seem to get what I want.  I can't seem to figure out how to erase and re-write.  Instead I just repeat.

So I am trying to change this.

*sigh*

So now where do I start?

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DIY!!!!!

Make it HERE

Make it HERE

Make it HERE

You can make these...I know you can, because I can (and I am totally NOT crafty...like not at all).  But this year I wanted to do something more meaningful (and cheaper...LOL!).  So I made a shit load of ornaments...(project link HERE) and today I am going to make a few jars of the sugar scrub and maybe a couple of the rosette bracelets.  I will let you know how it goes!

***

Anyway...how are you?  Are you getting sucked into the holiday drama or are you able to keep it together a bit?  I have been more mindful this year...man what a difference too.  I started my holiday shopping before Thanksgiving (don't hate me!) but I knew if I didn't, I would be screwed and then crabby having to deal with crowds and cranky people.  So I decided to get it done early...yep I think I will do this going forward.  Also, making gifts has been really fun...especially when the kiddos help out.  They love doing it...so double bonus, I can be lazy and have them do the work and they feel all happy about doing crafty stuff.  WHOOT!

OK here are a couple of flower photos I took...dang, I have not taken flower photos in ages!

Oh...would you mind terribly saying a little good luck prayer for me? I gotta a phone call to make...and if it works out, well...it would be pretty effing sweet!  Eeek...

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Just like that...

A fire starts...

And then everything changes.

I don't really know what to say...I am so sad.  This is a neighbors home.  I know she was very old.  I don't know if she got out alive (I pray she did).  They did get her dog out and another neighbor is keeping him.

When I got home the smell of smoke was so heavy on my body...I had to shower.  It still lingers.  And my throat hurts.

Kinda puts everything into perspective for me right now.

And thank God for these brave fire fighters.  Such respect I have...

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Oh yeah!

Oh don't you agree with this quote?  I can honestly say I did not become a woman until I turned 41.  Seriously..I was a mere girl up until then.  But sure enough, I had a life changing year...it brought out the woman in me that I never knew existed.

And you know what?

I fucking love this woman I have become.

Yeah.

Now I am hardly perfect...but who is?  Oh and I still do stupid things...(like leaving a bag of dog treats and chocolate Santa's on the ground...which, of course, my dog ate!!!  And now he is farting up a storm so bad I may faint before I finish writing up this post).  Eeeek...I am hoping it does not turn into something worst.  Ay yi yi!

Oh gosh..there is so much to a woman.  We are complicated creatures...but if you can manage to make us happy...well, the rewards are endless.  And a happy woman is a beautiful thing! *smiles*

I must thank the ever amazing Susannah for sharing the the link to cool quotes by badass women.  Enjoy!

***

OK, I have a busy weekend ahead as my daughter is dancing in the Nutcracker this year with the Civic Ballet of Chicago (yeah...I am a proud Mommy!).  I will try and sneak some pics, but it might be near impossible...

Happy Saturday my friends!

xoxo

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Dear Universe...

(hmmm will adding more textures and actions make it prettier for the universe to read?)

***

What do you think?  Am I clear enough?  Do I need to add a vision statement and a mission statement too? A road map? A timeline? How do you go about telling the universe that you are ready?  *sigh*

I don't know the answer.

All I know is that I am ready.

I have dreams ya know.  I am sure you do too...well of course you do.  We all do.  Life would suck without dreams.  Could you imagine having no dreams or something out "there" to go after?  OMG...yeah...that would totally suck ass.

So I want to go back to not knowing the answer for a moment.  There are countless books and "wise" people that claim they know the answer on how to unlock the power of the universe.  Some of it I kinda believe...but most of it is a bunch of bull.  I mean really...if I just start imagining checks coming to me in the mail...it's gonna happen?  I'm sorry but that just makes me laugh. I don't think so.

I guess it's a balance of working toward your dream and then hoping that some how and some way the universe connects you to what you want.  Maybe it's a chance meeting.  Being in the right place at the right time. Who knows.  But I know for me...sitting around and relying on pure luck does not really work.  I gotta get in the hustle too.  (I can't help but think about Susan Boyle...sheesh..talk about chances! But she did get on that stage too...she just didn't sit around in her living room waiting to be discovered). Anyway, I hate to hustle.  And what hustling really means is going out into the world and pimping myself out (maybe "pimping" is too strong of a word...but it kinda fits.  And it's just how selling myself makes me feel).  But who else is going to sell me? *BIG sigh* *ugh* *ack* *icky bad*

So I am currently in pimping selling mode.

And I HATE it.  But I gotta do what I gotta do. Right?

So universe..I am ready.

Seriously...I am ready to get what I want so I can stop pimping selling myself...LOL.

***

Have a great weekend my friends!

xoxo

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Winter...

You know what I love about winter?  The light.  There is something so beautiful and ethereal about winter light.  It seems brighter and cleaner than summer light, don't you think?  The air is dry and crisp...maybe that's why.  I find the light in winter cleansing and calming.

I  gotta say, I am so happy to be back in the Midwest where I can experience full seasons again.  I love the diversity in weather.  Yeah...even the gray days.

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Oh yes...I love knee high socks too.  Holy moly I may have a new addiction here.  I have found super cute knee high socks at Target and TJ Maxx...cheap and adorable...what could be better?

***

OK...I wish I had something more interesting to write about today.  But I really don't have much to say...sorry I am being kinda lame.  Truthfully, I am tired.  I have been staying up too late playing around with photoshop (damn, that's a tough addiction to break!).  I am having fun, but the lack of sleep is catching up with me.  I think it's going to be an early night tonight...*yawns*

Stay cool peeps.

xoxo

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