Finding clarity

Sometimes you have to go through a tunnel of darkness to see the light.  And when you get out of the darkness, bask in that light...for it's truly a gift.

As it seems that a moment of clarity is so fleeting.

Don't you agree?

And...I am hoping to find more clarity...as I am picking up my meditation practice once again.  I have noticed a HUGE difference since January and Jan's meditation challenge.  I rarely meditated this month...and I have been totally "wonky."  I feel less connected and more stressed.  All the little things things are bothering me again and I don't seem to have much focus.

It really is amazing...how allowing yourself to sit (even for a few short moments each day) can bring about profound clarity and stillness.

So why not take this moment to just close your eyes and breathe...find your place of quiet happiness.

Be still.

Be blessed.

xo

p.s....did you notice that new photo on my sidebar?  I am committing to sitting.  Everyday.  Even for just 5 minutes.  Feel free to grab that photo and place it on your blog...as a reminder to take a few moments out of your day to be still.



Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

Just a couple of things...

I came across these 2 quotes yesterday by accident while searching for a new background on my phone.  Hmmmm...me wonders if this is a message from the universe?

I can't keep these to myself...perhaps they speak to you as well...

Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

Dreaming

I am...

I am: confused

I think: from my heart (is that possible)

I know: very little

I want: to be somthing

I have: too much but feel it's not enough

I dislike: the way I feel right now

I miss: working (sometimes)

I fear: failure

I feel: a little hopeless today

I hear: birds chirping

I smell: nothing

I crave: reassurance

I usually: put off things I need to do

I search: for meaning

I wonder: why I am so hard on myself

I regret: letting fear get in the way

I love: all the free time I have, yet wonder if I could be more productive

I care: not as much as I should

I am always: going through this weird cycle

I worry: little (thankfully)

I remember: my childhood dreams

I have: too much on my to do list

I dance: rarely

I sing: in my mind because I am tone deaf

I don’t always: do as I am told

I argue: for the sake of arguing

I write: because it brings me peace

I lose: myself in photography

I wish: I could achieve all that I dream of

I listen: with an open heart
I don't understand: how I can get off this marry go round of self doubt

I can usually be found: right here in front of my computer

I am scared: that this is all for nothing

I need: to change

I forget: that life is about the journey not the destination

I am happy: mostly (although it may not seem like it today)

Thank you September Mom for this brilliant idea...this exercise brought me much clarity today.

Won't you give it a try?

Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

10 new discoveries

So I thought this would be fun today...  I was tagged to do a "10 things" meme from Kim (her blog and photography are awesome...do run and check it out).  I am adding a bit of a twist though... These things have to be new discoveries.  When was the last time you discovered 10 new things?  I mean discovering 1 or 2 things are great but 10...sheesh!  However, this made me really think...and thinking is good every now and then don't you agree?

So here goes:

1.  My new friggen awwwsome cawffee cup I got at Fishs Eddy in NYC.

 2. Trader Joe's organic raw blue agave sweetener (yup...I just gave up my equal and am using this to sweeten my coffee..oh it's soooo good too! And low glycemic to boot!)

3.  Icebreakers gum!!!  Raspberry Sorbet flavor...OMG...the best thing ever!

4.  The Queen's Fool...a new book for me to read by Philipa Gregory...which is totally sucking me in!

5. The Naked Soul  blog and especially this post.

6.  Photoshop CS4 and the ability to do amazing things with my photos that I never dreamed of.

7.  Starbucks via instant coffee...so delicious and a total time saver!

8.  This texture by shadowhouse creations!

9.  Realizing that there is so much of the world I want to explore, but will probably never be able to see...*sigh* 

10. I ate sushi for the second time in my life and didn't feel like I was going to gag...I may even try it again!



So there you go...would love for you to play along and see what cool things you are discovering!




Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

Home again

 
Whew...what a whirlwind week!  Fun, but action packed.  I needed that. Seriously!  The thing I love about NYC is the total immersion of life.  You can't escape it there.  Everything is at your finger tips...almost over stimulation of the senses.  But a great slap in the face if I ever needed one.  Sometimes I am too caught up in my bubble forgetting that there is a whole big wide world out there.  I so loved hearing all the different languages on the street...all the different people, foods, stores, sights, smells...

It was glorious.  And I enjoyed every little moment...because I knew it would not last long.  And that was the best part...being totally engaged and present.


And so, I am back home still a bit wired.  But ever so grateful for the change of pace.

How I missed you all...please give me a few days to catch up...as I think I need some sleep! ;)


Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

Taking a bite of the big apple!

Ohhhh...taking a last minute trip to NYC...  The energy here is awesome.  I always forget that this city really does not sleep!  I am off to get some Billy's cupcakes...yum yum!  I will be sure to post some pics later.  Hope all is well in your neck of the woods!

I am soooo far behind in catching up with you all :(  Just know I love you guys!!!

xoxo

Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

Gone surfin'

Funny...I really don't have much to say right now.  So weird...because I usually have so much to say.  But I don't want to bore you with pointless drivel.  So...

I think I am going to take a bit more time off...recharge, refocus and renew.  I need a little renewal.  

I hope life is treating you well.

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."  ~Annie Dillard

Be well.
 xoxo

 


Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

Back in a few...

I have some homies from Chi-town coming to visit.  So I am taking a wee bit of a break.  I am going to go and live off line for a while (is that even possible...lol).  *smiles*

Have a beautiful weekend and Valentines day!

Here are some treats for you. :) Did I happen to mention how much I love you all?  You rock!

xoxo

Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

Honestly I am more of a lover than a fighter...sometimes

Here's the thing with my fears...I gotta pump myself up sometimes.  I have to get comfortable with "them."  Pretend that I am a serious contender. Yesterday's post was my "Rocky like" attempt to face "them."  I need to rally my internal troops and wrestle my ego (that wants to take over and shut down my attempts at growth and doing new things). My ego is a big scardy cat too...my ego likes the status quo and does not feel that changes are necessary.  And when pushed out of it's comfort zone, my ego goes from little kitty to big bad ass hungry lion!  Do you know know hard it is to tame a lion?  Sheesh!  I do agree...that acceptance is better...gentler...but come on...sometimes you gotta just get in there and fight.  Well, at least for me ;).  Then when the dust has settled...be thankful for the lesson learned.

So... I do have a permanent reminder that I can overcome anything:




Getting this tattoo had to be one of the most painful and scary things I have ever done. I made a point of doing this alone (and after 10 years of thinking about it) because I wanted to prove to myself that "I could".  Getting this tattoo was a journey to say the least. A journey of acceptance, transformation...and yes overcoming fears...

I choose the lotus, because in Eastern philosophies, it represents growth...it begins it's life in the mud at the bottom of a pond and goes through much hardship to grow.  After a long journey, the lotus finally emerges and blossoms into something magnificent and beautiful. I love my tattoo. It's a permanent reminder to stay mindful, strong, and faithful. And most importantly, it represents my journey...that I made it through some serious crap.  And yes...I faced my fears and knocked them flat on their face ;).
 

Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

Fight for it!

 Awesome photo by Au Snap...check out his photostream!

I am riled up folks!

I got my fighting gloves on and I am ready to throw down.

Oh yeah.

I will not go quietly.

Life is too short.

I am in the ring with fear.

Fear is big.

Fear is strong.

Fear is a whole bunch of nastiness!

But I have been training.

And I am ready to face fear.

Bring it.

Will fear knock me down?

Perhaps.

But I will get up.

Oh yes I will get the fuck back up!

Because I am stronger now.

And I won't give up on myself.

Life is short.

So...I got my gloves on and I am in that ring.

*ding*

There is no turning back now.

What's the worst thing that could happen?

I'll get knocked out?

Yeah well...you know what's worse?

Not getting in the ring at all.

Not trying.

And letting fear win without a fight.
.
.
.


So?  What are you going to fight for?


Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

Lemon lovin'

Reach for the stars

BTW...did you watch that video yet? 

Happy Monday!

xoxo



Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

Thoughts on a rainy day

Watch this...but grab a kleenex first...

I saw this on Lance's blog and had to re-post.  I almost did not watch this.  This may very well change your life.  Seriously.  

Gabrielle Bouliane:  July 24, 1966 — January 29, 2010  (video recorded on December 5, 2009)


Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

One day at a time

You know I couldn't leave for long...

Each day I am plugging away...planning, modeling, forecasting...sheesh...who said starting a business was easy?  I guess no one said it was easy...but all this "boring stuff" is sucking the life out of me. Oh how I wish I liked numbers and spreadsheets!

I realize now how much I need my creative outlet here...plus I missed you all ;)

So tell me...what have you been up to?  How is your February going so far?  Are you embarking on any new adventures?  Seen any good new movies?  How about reading a good book?  Listening to something new I should know about?

I wish I could have something more exciting to say.  But it's literally one day at a time for me right now.

OK, it's back to the spreadsheet and demographic modeling...calgon take me away...

xoxo

by the way...this is such a cool song...different from Julian Cope's original....but I might even like this better!



Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

It's like this...

I have taken on too much.  Do you ever do that?  I am sure you do! You are human after all!

I am finding that my focus is way off.  My priorities are kind of "f'd up" right now and I have to regroup and rethink some things.  So blogging is gonna take a hit for awhile until I can get my little duckies all in a row again.

So you might not see me around as much.

I am also starting up a business and the planning is making my head spin.  But it's good.  Just taking me out of my comfort zone...but hey...I am doing that one thing that scares the crap out of me (I am a girl of my word). 

I hope to be back soon...

Here's a sugar kiss just for you ;)  xoxo

Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

The lightness of being

Are you listening?

Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010

Whispers of a woman