Whew...what a night...
My oldest child is going through "something" and I don't like it. She is changing...unable to handle new emotions. It's throwing my world into a tizzy. And it's breaking my heart. To see her so upset...her not knowing that what is causing so much stress is really not that big of a deal (but it seems like the world is ending).
This is why being a Mom is so hard. Hearing the awful words said. Hearing her call herself stupid. Saying that life is so hard (oh gosh...it's not even the tip of the iceberg!). Watching her go through "this yuckiness."
Even harder to remain calm in the midst of the screaming and crying. Saying "I love you" when the anger rises. Remaining calm. Oh that's the hardest!
Oh my sadness is deep today.
All I can do is pray and try.
Pray and try.
Then let it go...
find the light...
and hold on.
Take a peek...I am blooming 365 days in 2010
33 comments:
I remember going through this with my daughter at about 17 years old. I would worry for her safety. She has come out the other side and a more beautiful woman for her searching and struggle.
In Quaker circles we say "I will hold you in the light". Today I will do this for you.
I'm so sorry she is having such a hard time, but I know your love and support will get her through. I am praying for you both.
i'm so sorry honey - i would give you big hugs if i could.
It is all you can do Caroline. And how blessed is your daughter that you know that and realize how to put it into action?
It is one of the most difficult aspects of parenting...I agree. Seeing them in pain, not knowing why (sometimes even they don't know "why") and being unsure of how to "solve" their pain...but knowing somethings are not meant for us to fix, but to, as you said...hold on.
Beautiful thoughts, beautiful photograph...beautiful mother. ♥
Sending hugs and healing wishes to you both!
That is just the hardest ... hurting for them, wanting to fix it ... do hold on ... and let go at the same time.
I went through a really tough time when I was a teenager. What got me through it was knowing that my mom loved me and was there for me, even if I didnt take advantage of that fact.
We need these trials in life to shape the person we become. It's tough on both of you but I am sure it will all work out in the end.
I've always found that the hardest part of parenting was sitting on the sidelines and letting them play the game themselves.
Prayer and meditation are the best solutions. Hang in there.
mine too...sigh
Hang in there Caroline and just keep showing her that you love her and provide support for her so that she knows she can talk to you when she's ready.
xoxox...
My baby is 35, I still worry, fret, pray and meditate...
Love,
Lynn
Peace and (((hugs)) are flying on their way to you..ah the sweet sounds of parenting a girl..
Being a Mom is so hard. As far as parenting goes, this past 13 months has been the most difficult for me.
Lots of good Energy and Light:) The hardest part about being a mom is learning when to lean in and when to let go. You can't alleviate anything for Them you can only hold their hands as they walk through it.
oh caroline
hang on.... and pray..... that's the best thing you can do. oh yeah, and find the light and hold on... that's beautiful.
sending peace your way.... xxo, kim
oh dear. hang in there. i have no great words of wisdom, but this post is making me remember the look on my mom's face when she knew i was going through a rough patch. i know it isn't easy to be a mom. not at all. but i am so glad your daughter has you, and maybe just listening to her will help.
I went through what your daughter is going through, back in the day. Be thankful that she lets you in on her bad feelings, her "ickiness" -- that is much better than for her to try and hide her pain or not want to talk about it -- really. I wish you both well.
Life is so oneself's...
i kind of had this conversation with my friend today. her son is going through this bit with his girlfriend. and she can't sleep because she knows that he's hurting a lot...she wanted my advice and i only have little ones, but i know my day will come. i know that i wasn't always the easiest to live with and so, i will say to you, hold on. in hindsight we can see that maybe the world isn't full of disasters, but that she needs you more than anyone to see her through this. maybe the hardest part about being a mom is knowing when to step in and when to let them go through the things they need to go through to become independent, strong adults. that's when the ugly stuff really starts. it's a hard balance...and while i don't know what she or you are going through, stay strong...and use love as your guide.
The best you can do is be there for your daughter and help where you can. One of my sons went through a very dark period where he hated his life, particularly school stuff, and he was constantly depressed, moody, and quick to anger. We all felt like we were walking around on eggshells. He even mentioned feeling suicidal which scared the crap out of me and I was afraid to sleep at night for some time as I would listen out for the slightest noises. I kept my distance to a degree but I also made a point of staying within his focus whether it meant being in his firing line or not. I needed him to know that his siblings and myself would always be there for him. That said, I felt frustration that he couldn't see that life was really good and he had wonderful opportunities and, most importantly, he had a family that loved him dearly. I felt frustration knowing that he hadn't even begun to experience life's hardships but, of course, that knowledge comes with growth, maturity and experience.
Thankfully, he made it through that dark period and things are so much better for him now. I like the saying...'this too shall pass' because it truly does pass. Later, we can look back at those emotionally tough times and think, WOW, I really made it through that time in my life when I thought there WAS no future.
Hang in there, Caroline. Take each day as it comes.
I think the Quaker saying Marilyn mentioned is very appropriate here so - "I will hold you and your daughter in the light". xo
As you already know, in her world, it is VERY big...and this too shall pass.
Here's to holding on and finding peace.
Oh my...your comments today! The sunlight I need. Serena...thank you for sharing that about your son. Very powerful. I have been thinking and thinking...and these comments are so helpful. Love is the only guide. And even a good therapist if need be. But right now I am going to do all that I can to be there for her. Be present and not let my anger get in the way.
XO
I've experienced this with both of my daughters. One situation was very similar to that of Serena's son, and the other one experienced typical teen angst, the kind where you can't do anything but listen.
Hang in there, Caroline. It is not easy.
Young hormones have a lot to answer for. *sigh*
Just be lovingly there for her because as you say, the only thing you can control is your reaction to the situation.
Oh, Lord. I remember those days. A little easier with boys, perhaps. Yes, I do believe it was.
I never pray for patience anymore. I just get more trials that way.
staying calm. thats the hard part, isnt it? my little girl is 7. and im thinking some aspects of parenting just gets harder as they grow.
I had a similar experience with my four year old, but a different difficulty. Sometimes I feel helpless, and it's so frustrating! Then some space opens up for compassion, for her, and for myself, knowing I am doing the best that I can.
Give yourself one big hug. You are doing the best you can.
((((HUGS))))
I am sending good thoughts and energy to do you and your daughter.
All you can do is mirror positivity and be a listening ear for her. Reinforce to her how wonderful she is.
I'm praying and trying too about my tension with my son. I'll pray for you and your daughter. It's so tough. I wish there was an easy solution.
I hear you....loudly....as my heart struggles daily with being a mom....and praying happens as often as blinking !
oh, and I will trade for yours, if you want my 18 year old son :)
I hope everything becomes peaceful again...pray and try. Big hug my friend, can you feel it, I think you need it today.
When I was a young woman, contemplating career choices, I always thought motherhood was the easy choice. Was I ever wrong! It is the hardest thing I have ever done. I have struggled with depression at times in my life, but seeing my son deal with it was a hundred times more difficult. Hold on, Caroline. It gets better. And I firmly believe that we are given no crosses to bear without also the strength to bear them... (((HUGS)))
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